Mistaken Identity

It was announced a couple days ago that someone is leaving the company. I can’t imagine why anyone would ever want to do that. But anyway, we’ll call him Jack.

Jack just so happens to have the same last name as another guy who works in the company. We’ll call him Ray.

Carlton sent an email to HR this morning asking when Ray’s last day was so we could cut off his access to everything.

HR is as incompetent as IT and didn’t catch the mistake. They happily told Carlton that tomorrow is his official last day, but he left for good yesterday.

Cool, easy enough. Carlton asks the rest of IT to begin terminating Ray’s access.

Minor problem – Ray still works here. Jack is the one who left.

I’m gonna keep that one to myself though and see how this plays out. Sorry, Ray, just take the afternoon off.


Password Reset

We received a ticket because someone’s computer password had expired and they needed to get it reset.

Carlton’s response? To email the guy to clarify if it’s his computer password or another password that needs to be reset.

If it’s his computer password, he won’t be able to log in to see the email…? But apparently I’m the only one who saw the flaw in that strategy.

Meanwhile, the poor guy waiting for the password reset is staring at his login screen for hours before eventually just calling Carlton and getting it reset.

I give up.


Yesterday’s Team Meeting

I took a brief hiatus from posting yesterday Carlton was monitoring everything I was doing from right behind me. That plant blocking the view of my desk from his really needs to grow faster. Anyway, as a result, I finished another episode in Candy Crush (level 681), so now I have to wait 3 days before I can play again. Currently accepting tickets to pass me on before the 3 days are up, for anyone who’s feeling generous.

The only real highlight from yesterday was the team meeting, which always promises for quality entertainment. To start with, it was rescheduled for an hour later with a reschedule notice of “adjusted for cake”. At least we have our priorities straight.

When it’s finally time for the meeting to start, everyone but Nancy shows up. Instead of being adults and just going on with the meeting, Hilary thinks this is a big deal. She’s IMing Nancy, but since Nancy can’t use “the Skype”, as she calls it, she doesn’t respond and doesn’t show up. Hilary then gets up, walks to the other side of the building, and shouts all the way across the floor at Nancy. Because we’re professionals.

Hilary comes back all huffed and begins the meeting. With a discussion on pollen. Oh, now I see why it was so critical Nancy be here. It would be a shame if everyone wasn’t up to date on all the latest pollen counts.

I basically fell asleep with my eyes open after that. Glad I didn’t miss the pollen update though.

Where’s the form?

Carlton just sent me an email. It was a screenshot of the travel department’s page on our intranet, with one line: “Which of these [buttons] is the travel request form?”

Answer: the one that says Forms and FAQs, with a description saying “all travel forms”. But that would just be too easy.

Just a reminder – Carlton is my boss. Plz help.

Someone sat on my computer

I came into work today to this email:

I hate to ask you this….

It seems like someone sat on my PC that I’m borrowing. I noticed this morning that the display was cracked.

Who should I contact to get this repaired?

“Someone” sat on it. Not sure who. Asking for a friend.

Everyone else, of course, pretended this is a normal thing and is working a replacement PC for the guy.

Maybe if I sit on mine and crack it, I can get out of work for a while. Weighing my options.


I’ve had some odd things happen to me in the office over the years. Some people feel the need to share very personal details of their life, like that one of their eyebrows is actually a tattoo. Others feel the need to hug me when they see me. I even had a guy get in my car while I was waiting for someone and try to make a move once. 

It’s fine. We’ve made a bunch of jokes and laugh about it all the time. 

Until today. Today I find out that someone in my team has been using my name in passwords for some of our IT systems. Systems that I would never touch or see. 

Who did it or how long has it been like that? No one knows.

Brb hiding under my desk from everyone.